How to Respond to Diet Talk

The biggest challenge out there is how to respond to diet talk — especially when it involves those you love, or those that love you!

Despite the anti-diet movement picking up on the internet, in real life, it’s hard to see, feel, or hear any real change.

Personally, I’m drowning in the noise of resolutions, goals, Whole 30 resets, etc. It’s triggering, sure, but I’ve also got my noise detectors on keeping me sane. When I identify it as noise, I’m able to self-soothe and use rational and positive self-talk to choose action that best supports ME.

But I know how hard it is to be with your family and friends only to get hit with a food buzz kill.

You’re at dinner, excited to chat about all the thing with a good friend or family member.

You sit down, and the scent of fresh bread hits the table. You reach into the basket to grab a steamy roll, when said loved one blurts out, “I’ll be good and skip the bread tonight!”

All of a sudden you’re second guessing if you “really need it”.

My students know to recognize this as NOISE. But sometimes, being able to identify it isn’t enough.

I want to help you establish tools to respond (or politely and intentionally not respond), so that when you feel those little heart palpitations when someone talks diet culture insidiously, you have a plan in place to F*RK THE NOISE.

If you eat with people that throw you off your game (once in a while, or often), the following tips will come in handy. As I always say, I can’t get rid of the noise for you, but I can certainly provide you with real tools to stay afloat so you can feel equipped to to keep on swimmin!

Step 1: Identify and Label the Noise

1. Notice the noise and label it (when someone engages in diet talk, call that sh*t out in your brain and label it as NOISE).
2. Take a step back and reflect how your body is reacting. Is your heart racing? Are your palms sweating? Is your leg suddenly bouncing up and down? Is your stomach clenched? Your body reacts quickly. The mind may not recognize something is wrong, but the body stores this information — it’s communicating that you’re triggered in some way and identifying how it reacts to this is an invaluable self-awareness tool.
3. Develop a mantra to bring you back to your best you.

Mantra examples:

• “I got this”
• “I know what works for me”
• “This conversation does not serve me”
• “I will not contribute to the noise”
• “That’s their story” (taken from a star client who is f*rking the noise all day long!)

In many cases, in one ear and out the other will serve as your friend.  There’s a time and place to have more constructive conversations, but theres also a time and place to protect yourself and keep the focus on you and your journey. Plus, if you’re emotional and unable to communicate clearly, your message will be lost.

Step 2: Pivot or Engage in Constructive Conversation

1. Don’t try and win: Others may not have begun their self-work when it comes to food and body image. It’s easy to want to prove them wrong and show them the “right way”, but often those we love are not ready for this conversation, and during meal times may not be the time to have them. Remember, you need to focus on you, and leading by example is one of the most powerful things we can do.
2. Stay true to yourself: You now notice the trigger, you’ve identified it as noise — now remember why you won’t try what they are trying, and why you won’t allow their words to influencer your food/lifestyle decisions. If you need to, think about what happened the last time (or thousand times before) you went down the diet culture road and where it landed you. Stay connected to you — only you know your true needs. If you need to excuse yourself to gain composure and give yourself a pep talk, go ahead. Be your own hype man.
3. Pivot conversations: Food and what we’re “doing to be healthy” is normalized in our culture, but if I’ve learned one thing — it’s that people are easily distracted and love to talk about themselves. Take the attention off the food and ask questions about their life. Work, or future travel-related questions always go far!
4. Set boundaries: There is a time and place to set boundaries, and it’s always important to consider the nature of the relationship. If it’s lunch with your boss, this may not be the appropriate place to explain your needs. If it’s a mother or family member that wants to show love for you, sometimes showing and telling them how can be the best thing. Clearly communicate your needs by using “I” vs. “you” language. Example: I’m working on establishing a healthy relationship to food, during our conversations can we discuss other things besides the morality of food?
5. Leave the conversation:  If you can’t handle the conversation, get up and go the bathroom. Reset, engage in positive self talk, and prepare to return and change the conversation.

Did this help you? Let me know in the comments what works best for you!